Parenting is a life long career

I have been reading up some books and surf the internet about "Parenting" and come to realise that I'm not the only mum having to face all these 'problems'.. Phew! Thank god!

And I found this verse on a book "... no child has ever starved to death through stubbornness."

These days I'm more calm with dealing with Gaby especially during mealtime.

Long long week

Gaby has been ill for a week now... fever, cough and running nose. It has been the longest and toughest week for me. Seeing his little body losing weight... not having appetite to eat or drink milk... it really breaks my heart. I really missed his chubby looks and cheerful personality. Now he whines a lot. Very clingy to me. Very difficult to handle, very unreasonable. It is so impossible to talk sense into him now. There were times when i felt so helpless that I didn't know how and what to do to make him feel better and be his normal self.

All I can say is, STRESSFUL!!!

2nd time... 2nd chance...

This is how Alexius looks like now. Looks a little puffy.

I am expressing my breast milk while writting this...

I feel like this is a 2nd chance given to me for being a mother. I kept going thru' the things that i've experienced during the 1st time and there seems to be lots of things that i wanted to do differently. For example, I wanted to have a happier confinement, I want to breast feed for as long as I can manage, I will not go into any post natal blues, etc, etc...

Well, did i have a happier confinement? I think so so only. There were some stuff that i wanted to do differently this time but with my mum around, there isn't much that i can do except to follow by her rules... despite being in my own house! The only thing i can hope for is that she doesn't pick on my helper that much. Sometimes I will wonder if there is a problem with helper. But so far, I'm really happy with her performance leh... so don't really understand why mum is always finding faults with her... all I really want is peace in the household. Like what Boon always says... the helper is here to help with the household chores and not to increase problems in the household.

Breastfeeding... well, I am producing enough milk now... but it's just that the process of expressing the milk can be quite depressing. Alexius doesn't really latch on well so he prefers the bottle then my breasts. So at times I do feel like stopping.

Post natal blues... so long it's peaceful in the household i think i can still manage. I will tell myself every morning that i have to take things easy and not to get upset with the nitty gritties. I don't want to history repeat itself. I want to be able to look at Alexius and not feel the guilt that i felt when i look at Gabriel. I don't want to feel sorry for myself when the kids are older and regret that I haven't enjoy motherhood.