Old memories

I was looking at some of the old photos and video clips taken from my old old mobile phone of Gaby. And to my surprise, I dun remember having taken all the photos and clips!!!??? Actually, while I was looking at them, I feel very distanced and strange. I don't understand why am I feeling this way?? I do remember that back then when Gaby was still a baby, I like to snap pictures and video clips of him all the time. And that's all I remembered. I dun remember anything else of him when he was little... Oh, I do remember those 'frightening things' that I did to him...Is this becos back then I wasn't happy at all? I was so miserable becos of what happened at D#$g&* that my mind has choosen to block out things that happened back then? Including my happy memories of Gaby when he was a baby? Could this be it? Or is it that I am really getting old and so I can't remember them?

All of a sudden, I have this sense of fear... why do I only remember the bad things that I did with Gaby and not those happy ones??? Are there happy memories??